


Scars

by myndless_88



Series: Nagachika Family Anthology [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Implied Mpreg, Light Angst, M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28829898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myndless_88/pseuds/myndless_88
Summary: Just Kaneki observing himself in the mirror and reflecting on how he obtained two of his most prominent scars.
Relationships: Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise/Nagachika Hideyoshi
Series: Nagachika Family Anthology [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2113872
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings! This is my first contribution to the 'Tokyo Ghoul' fandom--specifically the HideKane part of the fandom. I’m no fanfic writer (drawing fan art is more my speed), but I’ve had this ( _pretty unoriginal_ ) idea for a while and wanted to do something with it. Please enjoy!

Most days, Kaneki would not think twice about how he looks in a mirror. Most days he would just complete his standard bathroom tasks on autopilot—not really paying attention to himself.

Today was not one of those days.

He has just finished showering and, upon entering the bedroom to look for some clothes, happens to catch a glimpse of himself. Kaneki’s steps are light and timid as he comes to stand in front of the simple full-length dress mirror. His grey eyes slowly rove the entirety of his body. He first notes his damp hair. It is in need of a trim, but what elicits a small “hmm” from the young man are how many black strands are overtaking the white. Though he has gotten used to the pristine color years ago, it is comforting to see his natural hair color again. To him, it means that he is healing. Though he has to admit that he would miss the white; it did make him look cool. Kaneki chuckles a little at the thought. He concludes that it will be back eventually—when he is much, _much_ older.

Kaneki’s eyes travel lower to inspect the rest of his body. Clad in only baby blue boxer briefs, it is easy to see everything. It still blows Kaneki’s mind how he had gone through such a transformation in such a short period of time. He remembers when he used to be that shy, timid first year university student with a lanky body fueled by hamburgers and coffee. He thinks of how he is now, and his lips form a thin line. He is still shy and timid at times, but… Where there was a lack of muscle are now hard and defined ones. Coffee still fuels him, but hamburgers have become a thing of the past. Much to his dismay. Now it is replaced by…by…

Kaneki rapidly shakes his head a few times to dispel the thought. He tries not to think about that any more than he should. But as he goes back to looking at—more like scrutinizing at this point—his body, he zeroes in on the large, vertical, and very faint scar located on the right quadrant of his abdomen. His eyes widen and his breath becomes a bit erratic. He brings a trembling hand to the scar but only lets it hover. This scar is a reminder. Of what he once was, what he is, and what he will be from now on. An artificial half-ghoul.

**_A monster._ **

Kaneki could feel the moisture building in his eyes, and he squeezes them shut to keep the tears at bay. But that made things worse because now he is at the mercy of his mind conjuring all the terrible sensations from memories he has tried to bury: the phantom pain blooming from his right side, eyes, fingers, and toes, the sweet stench of blood and rotting corpses, the sound of hundreds of skittering legs, the shrill and booming laughs of both Rize and Yamori, the soft murmurs of his mind telling him to harm not only himself but those around him.

Kaneki clenches the sides of his head, fingers digging into his scalp. He feels like he can’t get enough air, and his heart is beating way too fast. ‘Calm down. It’s all in the past. You’re fine. None of this is real.’ He repeats these thoughts a couple of times while taking deep breaths to try and ease his turbulent mind. A few minutes pass, and he figures that it is time to end his body inspection after almost succumbing to a panic attack. As he slowly opens his eyes, they lock on to another scar; this one horizontal and located on his lower abdomen. This one is also faint, but more recent. He lets his hands fall from his head, but brings up his left one to run its fingers tentatively across the scar. It is then that he notices the ring of silver—lined with gold—that adorns his ring finger as well as the fresh hickeys and love bites scattered across his body. A large one is located just above this particular scar. His eyes soften, and he chokes out a sob. ‘That’s right…’ he begins. He closes his eyes and smiles. He remembers how this scar came to be: the sweet sensations of that intimate night, the utter surprise and confusion that entailed that fateful hospital visit, the heaviness and swelling of his abdomen with each passing month, the euphoria when he heard their tiny cries for the first time. This scar is also a reminder. But unlike the other, this one tells him that he loves and is loved.

Kaneki hastily wipes his eyes and sets to putting on some clothes. Just as he finishes fastening his belt, he hears three pairs of tiny feet scurrying up the stairs followed by a steadier pair. He turns towards the bedroom door just in time to see it swing open and three small children running up to him.

“Mama!” they sort of shout in excited intervals, wrapping their little arms around his legs and pulling on the hemline of his cardigan sweater. Kaneki’s smile is wide as he crouches down to the level of his three-year-olds and pull them into a big hug.

“Good morning, my little ones. Did you enjoy your time with your grandparents?” The triplets all start babbling at once, trying to tell Kaneki all that they did. Kaneki couldn’t help the giggle trying to escape his lips. Out of the corner of his eyes, he spots a head of blond. He fully turns his head to see Hide leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, and looking at him and their children with amusement. Kaneki’s eyes soften and a gentle smile is on his lips as he rises from his crouched position. Hide also pushes away from the doorframe to meet Kaneki in the center of the room. 

“Good morning, Ken,” Hide says with so much tenderness. He wraps his arms around Kaneki’s waist as Kaneki does the same around his neck. 

“Good morning, my love.” He places a gentle kiss on the scarred skin on the left side of Hide’s face. There are times when Kaneki still feels the immense guilt for ever harming his best friend—the love of his life. Hide would always reassure him that it wasn’t his fault; that Kaneki was starving and on the verge of death. He would also add that he is healing quite nicely. And it is true. The skin grafting surgery he received makes him look almost like his old self. Despite not needing to wear face masks anymore, Hide still opts to do so on occasion. His reasoning is that some of the masks are cute, and he feels that he looks cooler in them. Kaneki would always shake his head and smile.

“Ah, your eyes…” Hide trails, “They’re a bit red. Are you okay?” He gently rubs the skin under Kaneki’s left eye, a look of concern on his face. Kaneki’s own sports one of melancholy.

“Yeah. I’ve been…looking at my scars.” Hide’s eyes slowly widen at the admission, and he raises an eyebrow.

“Oh?” He leans in and whispers, “Are there any new ones since last time? I know I may have been a bit rough last night,” he says while waggling his eyebrows. And just like that, the mood lightens again.

“Hide!” Kaneki yelps in embarrassment. His eyes look in every direction instead of at his husband, and his cheeks begin to warm up considerably. “Th-The kids are right there!” he whispers a bit too harsh. They both look over to see the triplets playfully jumping on their bed. It seems they stopped paying attention to their parents a while ago. Kaneki sighs in relief, and Hide lets out a small chuckle. They both look back at each other again and smile. 

“It’s alright, Ken. Despite what you may think, I think your scars are beautiful because _you_ are beautiful.” Even though Kaneki hears this all the time from him, he is still stunned by the response. Hide then gives Kaneki’s nose a quick peck and turns to their children. “Okay, who’s ready for lunch?” Three little heads look in their direction, all with huge smiles. They make their way off the bed with a little help from both Hide and Kaneki and head for the door. Hide follows suit, but stops in the doorway to throw Kaneki a wink over his shoulder before exiting. Kaneki hears his husband ask their triplets what they want to eat and then a barrage of answers afterward. Their laughs and giggles could be heard throughout the house, and that made Kaneki smile wide once again. His family just makes his heart swell so much. As he goes to straighten the blankets on the bed, he catches his reflection in the mirror once again. He gently places both hands on his clothed abdominal area and sighs.

Kaneki may not be very fond of the scar on the right, but he is getting better at getting used to it. He guesses he should be a little thankful for it too. For without that scar he would not have been blessed with the other below—his scar of love.

With this in mind, he turns and makes his way out of the bedroom, shutting off the light and closing the door behind him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](https://myndless88.tumblr.com/post/617767354794983424/scars) on Tumblr.


End file.
